Gothic Comedy Fan Pillows

'The count goes vegetarian'

'There are some gentlemen here who say that they want to drink your blood - do I show them in?'

A death in the family

"Ok Buddy. No more AB negative blood for you tonight!"

"Let me guess...the usual?"

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

Nevermore. You don't have to use "air quoths" every time.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'You've got those 'take-me-to-bed' eye sockets!'

"Relax - he's just here for the romance."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'You complete me.'

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

Drunk Vampire

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Transylvania Lecture Hall. Tonight Count Dracula will speak about lessons he learned looking back over a long life. I thought vampires didn't reflect.

Fresh Blood In Politics

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'