Gothic Comedy Fan Pillows

'The count goes vegetarian'

'There are some gentlemen here who say that they want to drink your blood - do I show them in?'

A death in the family

"Ok Buddy. No more AB negative blood for you tonight!"

"Let me guess...the usual?"

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Trilby - Finis

Orientation: Welcome to Hell

'You've got those 'take-me-to-bed' eye sockets!'

'You complete me.'

"Relax - he's just here for the romance."

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vampire Umbrella

Frank N. Stein - Evirnomentalist.

Drunk Vampire

'At last, dusk...and my e-mails!'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Death Takes A Time-Share

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Here's one for you... she likes long lurches in the moonlight, scared of fire... enjoys terrorizing villages...

Fresh Blood In Politics

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

Vampire practical jokes.

"Ooh! Bummer!"