Gothic Comedy Admirer Pillows

"Hopefully you're not hung up on that whole 'Death with Dignity' thing."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

The Reaper's Arms

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"You dressed!"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

Four Horsemen.

"Sorry, Boss, I thought you wanted me to make it look like an accident."

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Fresh Blood In Politics

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'