Gothic Story Admirer Pillows

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Just be patient Mr Dracula and wait until I've made your bed...'

'He likes to power nap.'

Out To Lurch

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

The Reaper's Arms

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

Bram Stoker

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"You dressed!"

Vincent Van Goth.

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

Four Horsemen.

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"Come on - let me guess again."

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"Look! It's iron man!"

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

Sir Oliver Murgatroyd

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

"Happy New Year!"

'Hold on... If you're not dead who's skull is this?'

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"God must have been very pleased."

"Honestly, I came here to drink your blood, but this claret is positively delightful!"