Gothic Story Admirer Pillows

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Just be patient Mr Dracula and wait until I've made your bed...'

'He likes to power nap.'

Out To Lurch

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

The Reaper's Arms

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"Who'd have thought old Harry would turn out to be a vampire?"

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

Vampire coming out of a body piercing shop with a stake in his heart

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"You dressed!"

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

Vincent Van Goth.

Four Horsemen.

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

"Come on - let me guess again."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

Sir Oliver Murgatroyd

"God must have been very pleased."

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Happy New Year!"

'Hold on... If you're not dead who's skull is this?'

The Rejected Design For The New Law Courts

"They said it couldn't be done – I made a friend as an adult!"