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"Hopefully you're not hung up on that whole 'Death with Dignity' thing."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

The Reaper's Arms

"800 years old?!! - Gosh... you must be feeling very 'long-in-the tooth."

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"It's no good, Bertie—we must either find some other place to meet or break off the affair altogether."

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"I had a Caesar salad for lunch, but that was two days ago."

'Oi mate! No hoods in the shopping mall.'

"We can't take breaks, but lunch is provided."

Visual Gag: Dracula reading a Fang Shui book. The Vampires version of 'Feng' Shui

"You dressed!"

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"It's people like you who are ruining rock and roll for the rest of us."

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Four Horsemen.

"Do not, I repeat, do NOT light his candle."

Waiting for the end of the acid-rain delay at the ballpark in the year 2258...

'He's always been a bit of an eccentric...'

"Wait! First, his attorney."

"Yeah, I want a neck tat with gothic lettering that says, 'Welcome to a career in the fast food service industry.'"

"How come Dracula's hair looked so neat if he can't look in a mirror"

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

"Normally this is where I would say something funny but the cartoonist is quiet quitting, too."

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

Fresh Blood In Politics

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"