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"Wait! First, his attorney."

'God's teeth - it's just not the same!'

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

Trilby - Mademoiselle Ernestine singing 'Les Cloches du Monastere'.

"You never know what will catch on!"

The Goblin and the Sexton

Trilby - 'Confession

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Fresh Blood In Politics

Trilby - The 'Rosemonde' of Schubert.

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

Death Takes A Time-Share

Janet Leigh caricature

Till life do you part.

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"And how would you like your steak?" "Cremated."

"Looks like you're due for a cleaning and a sharpening."

"Come on, you can be honest with me, have you had some work done?"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

Vampire Humor

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"