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When Zombies say goodbye...

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

Dracula acquires a taste for maple syrup.

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

"....and hold the garlic."

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

"It's creepy thinking that Santa can sneak into my house undetected. I must find out how he does it!"

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

"Wait! First, his attorney."

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"So, Claire tells me you ate her parents last night."

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

'Which one do you think Dracula's in?'

Death Takes A Time-Share

Fresh Blood In Politics

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

'Wow! Did you see who just flitted past? Count Dracula!'

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

'I just love this new ring tone.'

"Were the x-rays really necessary?"

"Dang it! Honey, this whole batch of type B positive has gone sour!"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

Dracula Waits For the Bus With A Coffin Briefcase.

'Dracula, I'm getting tired of you sitting around all day.'

Vampire Humor