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Why bread shrieks

"Here we are."

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Frankenstein working at a hot dog stand.

"He's gone goth"

"So besides opera and lurking, what do you do to relax?"

"It's called, 'Goth'."

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Vampire baby in 'Grav-co' stroller.

First Transsylvanian Blood Bank

'Why would a just God allow so many teenage vampire movies?'

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

'Oh great, these guys again! The big guy can't fit inside the MRI scanner, sheet boy falls right through it, and The Count's images never develop...'

Vincent Van Goth.

"Well at least nobody notices we don't go out much anymore."

"Identity theft hotline? Yes, it's Dracula again. Millions of people are still stealing my identity on Halloween."

"You never know what will catch on!"

"I want to be upfront. At this point, I'm only looking for a casual hookup of Frankenstein."

"Wait! First, his attorney."

'I succumbed to pierce pressure.'

Dracula's false teeth.

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'This feels a bit strange: Are you really from the Blood Bank?'

"Two for Joy."

Death Takes A Time-Share

Vampire Couple, "I suppose you're out again for your usual eight pints?"

"I've been transferred to the Transylvanian section"

'He won't bite anyone! I'm hoping it's just a phase.'

"The meal was delicious. My compliments to the Haematologist"

'I can only teach night classes.'

"Our relationship would never work, Megan! We'd always be at each other's throat!"

"As a vegan vampire I suck but I don't swallow."

"Too goth?"