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Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Robert Schumann

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

The-Lead-Us-Not-Into Temptations

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Atlas working out with the earth as his exercise ball.

Nick Cave.

ABBA

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"Please select hymn number 637 on your i-pods."

Thomas Dorsey.

"You're dragging the beat."

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

The First Supper

Athena

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."

Eric Clapton

Victoria Beckham

"I'd like a table near the band please."

"I have two children by a previous tour."

Team Bass

'You called for tech support?'

"I eat here all the time so I can be a regular."