Rock Band Groupie T-Shirts

"You're dragging the beat."

Plant Lady

Theatre Crowd

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

Internet Cafe.

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Robert Schumann

Don't You Dare Stand in the Way of Me Standing in My Own Way

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

Nick Cave.

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

ABBA

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

'What I really want, Santa, is a front row seat for the Olympic Beach Volleyball games.'

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

'But I only came to Oxford because I heard I could wear a gown!'

Athena

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

"Yes I know Dear. Tiger Woods is playing here today!"

Cinema nasties

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

"I'd like a table near the band please."

Eric Clapton

"I have two children by a previous tour."

Victoria Beckham

Team Bass

"Actually I'm a 'Roadie' for Dalton, Edwards, Bell, Cosgrove and Stoddard."

'Here's the story of the sermon on the mount.'