Guitar Groupie T-Shirts

"Here's another I wrote about pawning my guitar because I don't make enough writing songs."

'Let's start out with cliches and pithy slogans - and work our way up to wisdom ...OK?'

Theatre Crowd

Dynamite little combo

Liam Gallagher.

"Apparently the Ebola virus can make your ears bleed."

'Your drug test came back positive. Welcome aboard.'

Internet Cafe.

Justice 4 Ron

Robert Schumann

'Could you guys play a slow number so my gal and I can dance?'

Don't You Dare Stand in the Way of Me Standing in My Own Way

Emily's Slow Food Restaurant.

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

Nick Cave.

The worship singer suspects someone doesn't appreciate his talent after finding his mic muted for the 3rd time.

"If they shorten political campaigns, what will we do for entertainment?"

'I'm with the band.'

'We've had an application from No.10 Downing Street. . . they need to extend their cabinet room.'

ABBA

"I don't have a good ear. I should really invest in an air guitar tuner."

Artwork in a gallery still has wet paint.

"You want England to win what!? Put me back in the lamp!"

"In the Game of Life, my son, the fix is in."

"You're dragging the beat."

"Yes I know Dear. Tiger Woods is playing here today!"

'Don't worry - I've found The Cure.'

'Heaven...Hell...Who cares? You're Jim Morrison.'

'Yes, you do always take me to the best restaurants. But, I always pay the bill!'

Revisionist Theology Happy Hour in Galilee with Jesus and Judas

Victoria Beckham

"I have two children by a previous tour."

"I'd like a table near the band please."

Eric Clapton

"He's been watching all those cookery programmes."