Googly Eye Guru Gifts

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

Turkey to human dictionary - 'Quiet!!! You don't realize what you're saying!'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

Hippie Edibles Co.

What brings you to therapy, Mr. Jiddury? Social anxiety. That's what Google says it is, anyway. But Google's no doctor. I thought it'd be better to get the opinion of a professional. I see, well, why don't we start the diagnosis by having you hang up your phone, get out of your car and come inside? No, that's ok. I'm good here. You have a lovely parking lot. I've got donuts in here. No, that's ok, I'm good. I've got cracker crumbs on the floor.

Deregulated Baseball

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

Facial hair continental drift.

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"You want the lead role in the Thanksgiving play, don't you? Try again, 'Gobble, gobble, gobble' - this time with feeling!"

'The spots are much clearer.'

Many people suspect that the players aren't the only ones on steroids.

"Clean your specs, lady?"

Boxing

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Checking new spectacles.

The Optician at Home

"Here are our latest frames, designed to make you look with-it, even though your past-it."