Googly Eye Guru Pillows

"I can't see a blinkin' thing."

'I remember when you used to look for answers using your astute powers of deduction.'

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

Deregulated Baseball

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

Facial hair continental drift.

Hippie Edibles Co.

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'The spots are much clearer.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Clean your specs, lady?"

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

Boxing

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

'We ran a full DNA test, STR and Mitochondrial analysis... and Bob here 'Googled' it just to make sure.'

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'I know I can count on you... that's the problem.'

Checking new spectacles.

'Dad says you can throw your voice. Toss it here.'

"Perhaps a dirge would lift your spirits?"

"They're bifocal glasses: I can use them to read as well as to see long distance when I'm charging..."