Gloves Guru Pillows

'You're going to have to take the fight to him.' 'Aye! Find out where he lives.'

"Counsel for prose is overruled. Poetry, you may continue."

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"But if you change your system preferences to match mine, is it really love?"

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'I think he's doing ok, the coach says he has the attention span of a goldfish.'

"Careful! He knows computers."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"Objection! Pummelling the witness."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'Don't blame the lawyer!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'I wish you would update your presentation software so we could do away with the 3-D glasses.'

"If it's nothing serious' why did you put on five pairs of gloves?"

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

''Not guilty'? -- oh, in denial, are we?'

'To find out how to start your new mobile, please read the manual. T' read the manual, please start your mobile.

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'Tell the truth: does this affidavit make me look fat?'

Deregulated Baseball

Super glue . . .

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

CONGRATULATIONS On an awesome swim

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

Pay Cut for QCs: 'I put it to you that this strikes at the very foundations of justice!'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

'The spots are much clearer.'

"I know I told you to fool him into thinking you've got nothing left, but now you've got me convinced."