Golfing Ghost Gifts

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"

'He lived and died for golf.'

"You are aware that’s a golf ball?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

His golfing career in a long tailspin, PGA pro Andy Pemrick spent his later years as the pro at Happy Time Mini-Putt.

Putt-putt. Drive-Drive. (Two minature golf courses. Golfer at first hits putt. Golfer at second is hit in head by golfball that has been hit as a drive.)

"Swallow the ball and stick the club up your a**e."

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'Putter'.

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

Jurassic Par.

'Vodka!'

'The Wedge. I thought you asked me for the Wedgie.'

"IV!"

When Paul finally emerges, his partner is gone, and he is left to finish the round with a cooler of beer all to himself and no one to catch him cheating.

'Every year, I make a New Year's resolution, but I never stick to it, and it's embarrassing when people ask me about it...this year I'm just going to lie through my teeth when people ask.'

Suddenly, on the 18th tee at Augusta, Leonard whales on his air guitar right in the middle of a backswing.

'You can't beat home groan.'

'Dinna play golf in your kilt.'

Golfing Fakir.

Golfing Accident

Practical Yolkers.

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

'...But Dewey here just won't let it go. So he tells Vern, 'Ok, I triple-dog-dare you to stick a putter in your ear'...'

Golfer putting into whale's blowhole.

"Slicey, Trappy, Bogey, Toppy, Mulligan, Hooky, Threeputty

Drawing of ancient golfer

"It's not that I'm unappreciative, but I wouldn't mind holing in two occationally."

'A remote controlled golf ball! Yes, of course!'

'Water hazards are no problem if you play golf in the winter.'

Grim Reaper's caddy hands him the correct scythe from a golf bag of different scythes

Caveman's Clubs.

'And now time for operation: Hit golf balls into windows!'

'Now that should make it a bit easier.'