Undead Golfing Aficionado Gifts

Grim Reaper's caddy hands him the correct scythe from a golf bag of different scythes

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

'We've re-branded.'

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

The Reaper's Arms

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

"From this you make a living?"

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'You think this is hot. Try having hot flashes, too.'

"Sorry, we first have to do a background check."

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

Mayhem, Inc. Part 2

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

"Wow. I just had a near life experience!"

"From here on out it's term and conditions."

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

"Eric, this is your father, mister Trump." "You must have the wrong number. I'm Mortimer Park."

'Listen, if they didn't have alcohol in heaven, it wouldn't be heaven!'