Golf Misfit Gifts

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Worst stand trap ever!'

Hole in forty-seven.

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'Golf is Life (his).'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

"You didn't iron the crease in my pants!! I'm gonna look ridiculous!!"

'Alan, it's the 11th hole, and that Tiger Woods mask isn't intimidating us...'

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'Careful... She thinks you're trying to steal her eggs!'

'It's raining. Forget the picnic.'

'Good shot!'

A Flag in One

Golf Crime Scene.

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."