Golf Misfit Gifts

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Well, dad, as a medical student I've got to read specialized literature!'

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

'When I said address the ball I didn't mean like that!'

'He lived and died for golf.'

Gopher underground hit by golf tee.

'Yes, Mr. Osborne, this is an intervention. Your family had no other choice. Golf is an illness...'

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

"Jim, just put that hole behind you."

"Don't worry, I'm a doctor."

'Worst stand trap ever!'

Hole in forty-seven.

There are more things to life than golf--but I ignore them.

'Golf is Life (his).'

'Good morning Walters, I see you've mad a speedy recovery from your bout with smallpox!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

'You've lost it Dad - It's gone into that little hole with the flag in it.'

"You didn't iron the crease in my pants!! I'm gonna look ridiculous!!"

'Your medical coverage does not consider that a medical necessity.'

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'Where the hell are my clubs ?'

'Keep playing like that and you'll strike oil!'

'Don't leave me, Mary! You know my whole world revolves around you!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

Golf Crime Scene.

'It's raining. Forget the picnic.'

A Flag in One

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

Dating site - buy a dog.

'Careful... She thinks you're trying to steal her eggs!'

'Good shot!'