Outdoor Misfit Gifts

Wait, I think I'm doing this backward.

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"You'd think he hated music by the way he tortures it."

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

"This is the murder weapon the defendant used, your honor, and these are the tunes he butchered in cold blood."

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

Not a happy camper.

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

He's my vaguely familiar.

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"When I was your age, I went outside everyday and did things."

All's well that ends well

"How is the new hearing aid?"

"I don't think this guy is even remotely capable of getting a clue."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

The Illiterate's Club.

"I didn't know it was casual wing day."

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

Authentic American Diner: 'Jello, ah said jello!'

'I don't understand that 'C' in music. I sing louder than anyone else.'