Outdoor Misfit Pillows

'OK, the old one's in my right hand, the donor's in my left. Rght?'

'And as my chart clearly shows, I don't know anything.'

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

'Excuse me, I'm going to talk on the cellphone while pretending you're not here.'

'Dinner in tumble dryer - gone to see therapist!'

'I hereby sentence you to three years of piano lessons.'

"No, I've got nothing constructive to add. But I do know a funny joke I could tell."

Tone Deaf and Can't Read Music - Please Give.

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"May I be candid, Hogarth? I should have thought a shrimp girl would make a more appropriate subject than a girl shrimp."

"Hold on ! Hold on! When you said you'd played this game before at school...."

He's my vaguely familiar.

'Stan, wait!... Wrong game!'

"Of course at this point, the egg salad went bad in the sandwich machine."

"Ah, Reid. You obviously didn't get my, 'you're fired' text."

"If music be the food of love, shut up."

"How is the new hearing aid?"

All's well that ends well

"When I was your age, I went outside everyday and did things."

'That was absolutely HORRIBLE! When can you start?'

'I was demoted and they're making me wear this hair shirt.'

"Harry's putting is not the only thing that stinks!"

"When I recommended you join a gym...I didn't mean as a member of the board!"

"I didn't know it was casual wing day."

I Will Not Text In Class # Mean Teacher

"No stamp on you voice mail, Mr. Figgis."

The Illiterate's Club.

"I said, you missed a belt loop."

'I don't understand that 'C' in music. I sing louder than anyone else.'