Golf Green Dreamer Gifts

'Dad could use one of these when he's playing golf.'

'Almost anyone can learn to play golf, and you're the 'almost'.'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'Yeah, I know your idea of heaven is to play golf all day, but all we have is shuffleboard!'

It can be taken up at any age....

Fully aware of the dangerous romance of Venice's canals and bridges, Gwendolyn approached this moment with a degree of caution.

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

"Getting the ball in the hole on the first swing is good isn't it?"

"I came to save you, but everything I can think to do seems like it wouldn't actually make that much of a difference."

'This could be me and you, your honor. Heading for Las Vegas!'

The Amateur Golfer

'More homes and wind turbines planned.'

Save our Planet.

God in the bunker.

"How about this? We carpet the road and use the resultant static electricity to power our electric cars."

(No caption). Woman bundled up against the cold weather smiles as she thinks of a big ripe red tomato.

Angel Swing

Grass huggers.

'I've been watering myself by taking showers. How come I'm not growing as tall as your plants?'

'I don't think we can justify employing a gardener.'

'If he starts early enough, he could be the next Rory Mcilroy.'

Flower seed and Bird seed

"Kid's today!"

'That takes you into double figures and we're not off the tee yet!'

I'm 40! Oh. Well happy birthday. A lot of people wouldn't be happy about turning 40. But I'm thrilled! I've been looking forward to my midlife crisis for a long time. I've got it all planned. First I'm going to buy a sports car. Then I'm going to leave my family for someone half my age who really GETS me. Then we're going to embark on a road trip filled with booze, shoplifting and debauchery. Anyway, what's your most dangerous drink? I want something that says "I'm letting the tiger in me out to

"I might let the window box lay fallow, this season."

"It's a victory garden. And the weeds have won."

The First Seed Catagogues of Spring!

"Okay! I know! I'm proud that you have a job and you've set a goal to spend all your money...on a nice lowrider car."

Welcome to Fairway...The town with 536 holes of golf!

Go away. I'm writing a poem on the fragility of mother earth. That'll help. Take chemistry and math if you want to save the environment. You don't need to know anything about science to tell people how to live better lives. True. You could be a congressman. Congressperson ... and good idea.

Wind Energy Systems Inc.

Men looking at oil rig - "Are they supposed to take off like that?"

'Gee, Dad... I wish we could afford to send our grass like that to get it cut!'

Gardening for Beginners