Golf Giggler Gifts

King Tut Tut

'He's definitely not a top flite.'

'Our company drone found you on the golf course yesterday after you called in sick.'

Kangaroo caddie.

Smite Golfer or Cow?

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

"What about something that requires a little more exercise?"

"We're either going to have to remove it or put instructions on it..."

The Busy Gardener

I was holding out okay, until he made it into crumb cake.

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

Hardy Annuals

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Yard Sale

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

"What are you in for?"

Garden of Eden and scrumping

'...and this is the water garden...'

'Where are you going?'

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

I'm going for former flower children. Tree's Tree Nursery. Legal pot. Legal grass. Festuca. Carex. Miscanthus.

Balding gnomes

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Now THAT, my friend, is a beer garden!

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.