Golf Giggler Gifts

King Tut Tut

'He's definitely not a top flite.'

'Our company drone found you on the golf course yesterday after you called in sick.'

Kangaroo caddie.

Smite Golfer or Cow?

'I don't think I am the worst caddy in the world... That would be just too much of a coincidence!'

"What about something that requires a little more exercise?"

"We're either going to have to remove it or put instructions on it..."

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

Beginning Yarder.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'