Golfing Giggler Gifts

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I'll need a three iron."

Common golf problems. Butcher - slice, Pirate - hook.

Cavemen Play Golf.

'These are my 'golfing socks'... there's a hole in one!'

A prehistoric man is golfing . . .He requests 'club' from his caddy.

The Busy Gardener

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

'A rose by any other name means I flunked the botany test.'

"This is bishop’s weed — always pee on it. Tell your friends."

"Garden variety allergies."

"Hello Mr Flower. You've got a pretty face. But your feet are filthy."

This is NOT 'nipping out'.

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

Beginning Yarder.

Look at the size of that fork. She must be very hungry!

Yard Sale

"Enough with the treehugging already!"

'...and this is the water garden...'

Garden of Eden and scrumping

Garden Talk - "I've decided to do some muck spreading."

'Where are you going?'

'I wish to refer you to a tree surgeon. You have all the symptoms of Dutch Elm disease!'

Balding gnomes

"I used to have A Green thumb but it was mainly for hedge funds."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I now recognize the basement was a bad idea."

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

"Remember when we were young and could finish a round without one of us having to run off to mark his territory?"

'I warned Harry that he'd have a bad hair day if he got near that leaf blower.'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"I'm getting awfully tired of raking up you underwear..."

"Have you seen my hot water bottle?"