Golf Gadabout Gifts

Ray Little did not last long as Tiger Woods' Caddy...

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

The Golfing Accident

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'No, mom, Frank wasn't struggling through woods, sand and water in a triathlon. That's his golf game.'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

'No, even I don't know the secret of golf.'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."

That looks like a golf ball.

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

Golfer watches alien space ship.

"Who says I'm out of touch."