Golf Buddy Gifts

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'Here's $40. Stick your head in the shrubs and act like you're weeding. If my wife says anything to you, just grunt knowingly.'

"Let's try out the new course they built on the swamp, you say. No problem, you say, it's just a sand trap!"

Sometimes honesty is not the best policy.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'...I've gotta get out of here. My boss thinks I'm meeting with clients, so I don't need any media attention.'

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'My nurse is off sick today, so my caddy is filling in.'

'I bet he kills this drive.'

'Don't quit now, Ernie - you've got a ‘no-hitter' going!'

"I can't understand it...the other guys didn't show."

'You did what during his backswing?'

Dietician to man: 'To address your spare tire we must first get in touch with your inner tube.'

"Only three more miles and tonight we're good for tiramisu!"

'Hole in one!!!!'

"And what do you do to maintain your cardiovascular fitness, Miss Holt?"

"How long have you lived in this gym?"

What an afternoon. Rudy, listen to me. It didn't mean anything. You can't play Xbox 360 all afternoon with a guy and pretend it means nothing. I was drunk! You loved it - all of it. The racing and arcade games, the first-person shooters, but especially ... No ... WWF Wrestling Smackdown. I'm a married woman!

'At least we don't have to accomplish anything in order to go to a bowl game.'

'...You push the wrong button, and now, instead of our fans enjoying a fireworks display, we've got an international incident on our hands.'

'Yes I do notice an improvement. Your chins don't juggle anymore.'

"I'm bilingual. I can talk to parents and step parents."

"Yeah, you were right! The indoor wheel is fun, but running in the park is a lot better..."

'I've stopped him using the exercise bike...'

'My upper body strength is fine but I'd been neglecting my legs.'

'I've met you before...I'm not good with names, but I never forget a pace!'

Two entrances to a gym; one reads "Actual Exercise" while the other reads "Sit on Equipment and Stare at your Phone."

Cathy decides to remain standing on the scale until she loses weight.

'That chap really knows his onions!'

'Your direction is good! Now try for distance.'

'You've never played golf before, have you?'

'You beat me by two...but with your penalties I beat you by 150!'

"I guess exercise will make me feel more energetic, but I feel like I'm wasting all my energy exercising!"

"Listen, I've had 25 fights and won all but 24 of them."

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."