Golf Aficionado Gifts

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'I don't care how much money he has, he can use a golf cart like the rest of us.'

'I have to warn you investments can bogey as well as birdy...'

'Sure, we have a long way to go but give us credit for knowing how to relax.'

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'He didn't seem to take too well to being beaten, did he?'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Olaf has never been the same since we raided St. Andrews."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'Vodka!'

Home office distraction *43.

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just gave in and became snowbirds?"

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

Drunk Golfer: "This is 'A Full Member'.

Valhalla Ryder Cup.

That looks like a golf ball.

'A Hole In One!'

'Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner BC, but I'm up to my ears in work.'

'Is this a bad time to hit you with an ad?'

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'Doctor, this is not what I had in mind when you said you were going to put me on an Exercise program.'

'I don't understand it. That's my third tee shot that was headed right for the green and suddenly just died!'

'So, what are your plans for tomorrow?'

'Wow! Did you see the sexy club that woman was swinging?'

'I had a great year! I told my husband I want to renegotiate our prenup.'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

Baseball manager brings pitcher golf clubs

"Thousands of scientist insist warming is real."

"It's come to my attention that one of you isn't a member here, and snuck on to play a round of golf."

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

"Maybe he'll take a mulligan."

Golfer using a machine to hit the golfball