Golf Aficionado Gifts

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'I don't care how much money he has, he can use a golf cart like the rest of us.'

There Are More Things To Life Than Golf...But I Ignore Them. There are more things to life than golf...but I ignore them.

'Sure, we have a long way to go but give us credit for knowing how to relax.'

'I have to warn you investments can bogey as well as birdy...'

'He didn't seem to take too well to being beaten, did he?'

St. Patrick Drives the Snakes Out of Ireland

Home office distraction *43.

"Wouldn't it be easier if we just gave in and became snowbirds?"

"Olaf has never been the same since we raided St. Andrews."

'Vodka!'

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Baseball manager brings pitcher golf clubs

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

That looks like a golf ball.

'I had a great year! I told my husband I want to renegotiate our prenup.'

'A Hole In One!'

How to tell you're playing a low budget golf course.

'Is this a bad time to hit you with an ad?'

'Sorry I didn't get back to you sooner BC, but I'm up to my ears in work.'

Valhalla Ryder Cup.

Man protecting himself from potential golfballs

'So, what are your plans for tomorrow?'

Drunk Golfer: "This is 'A Full Member'.

"Thousands of scientist insist warming is real."

'Doctor, this is not what I had in mind when you said you were going to put me on an Exercise program.'

'Wow! Did you see the sexy club that woman was swinging?'

'I don't understand it. That's my third tee shot that was headed right for the green and suddenly just died!'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

"It's come to my attention that one of you isn't a member here, and snuck on to play a round of golf."

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

"A preliminary census report indicates that for the first time in our nation's history female anthropologists out-number male professional golfers."

"That's not a haboob. It's Ed trying to get his ball out of a bunker."