Golf Gabber Gifts

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'He lived and died for golf.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

'Special Delivery!'

Dexter Miller developed the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough, but... (golf ball in pain)

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'My nurse is off sick today, so my caddy is filling in.'

"Let's try out the new course they built on the swamp, you say. No problem, you say, it's just a sand trap!"

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

'...I've gotta get out of here. My boss thinks I'm meeting with clients, so I don't need any media attention.'

'I bet he kills this drive.'

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

'You did what during his backswing?'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

'Wouldn't you know it? -- I sliced it right into Purgatory!'

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

"The doctor said my cholesterol is a par, and my blood pressure is a birdie. I don't golf, so I still don't know if I'm healthy."

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

'Do you have to advertise the fact I'm new at the game?'

"Hello Tim, you're looking well...How's death treating you?"

Charlie is a 'scratch' golfer.

'He has a very technical approach to the game.'

For men, it's a tiny leap from this club...to this club!

Trespassers will be Clamped

"Both my wife and my daughter are in hospital."