Golf Gabber Pillows

"Let's not spoil it by keeping score."

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

My diagnosis? Restless tongue syndrome.

'He lived and died for golf.'

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

Man in Office playing golf, filing cabinet draw marked 'Rough'

Dexter Miller developed the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough, but... (golf ball in pain)

'Special Delivery!'

'I don't think of myself as a caddie, I provide technical support for golfers.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'What a Neanderthal! Ork doesn't know his putter from his driver.'

'Actually, I was hoping for oversized with a graphite shaft'

'My nurse is off sick today, so my caddy is filling in.'

Ray Little did not last long as Tiger Woods' Caddy...

"Let's try out the new course they built on the swamp, you say. No problem, you say, it's just a sand trap!"

'...I've gotta get out of here. My boss thinks I'm meeting with clients, so I don't need any media attention.'

"I'm going to bed, I have an early tee time tomorrow."

"On the sixteenth hole? I can sympathize with you, but I can't let you go back and finish the round!"

'You did what during his backswing?'

'Of course I'm concerned with green issues...'

'I bet he kills this drive.'

'This really is heaven! I don't have the yips anymore!'

'Here's $40. Stick your head in the shrubs and act like you're weeding. If my wife says anything to you, just grunt knowingly.'

'Wouldn't you know it? -- I sliced it right into Purgatory!'

'Since he retired, it's been all play and no work, but he's STILL a dull boy!'

"The doctor said my cholesterol is a par, and my blood pressure is a birdie. I don't golf, so I still don't know if I'm healthy."

Charlie is a 'scratch' golfer.

"Hello Tim, you're looking well...How's death treating you?"

Worms saying as golf ball approaches: 'Right lads - let's stop it going down!'

'Do you have to advertise the fact I'm new at the game?'

'I said we were going to play a game of skins, not shirts and skins!'

For men, it's a tiny leap from this club...to this club!

'He has a very technical approach to the game.'

Trespassers will be Clamped