Golfing Gadabout Pillows

'Do you have to advertise the fact I'm new at the game?'

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

Golfing Boss

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

The Golfing Accident

'He always tees off like that. He used to throw the discus in college.'

Earthlings, show us your sporting interests. This is golf. Hit the ball with the club. This is tennis. Hit that ball with the racket. This is volleyball. Hit that ball with your hand. Hitting, hitting, hitting. It's all so violent. How do you relax? We hit the hot tub.

"Yes, sir, Dave. Out here, under the big sky, I always get back in touch with who I am."

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'I love these senior citizen discounts.'

'No,silly-I asked for a sand WEDGE!'

"I see you've flown around the world in a plane, and settled revolutions in Spain. Around a golf course you're under par. Metro-Goldwyn has asked you to star. Very impressive, I must admit, but we're looking for someone with marketing experience."

'Don't worry, the dog's a sales manager!'

'We're playing Doctor - he's the caddy.'

"I must come to the supermarket with you sometime dear, they seem to sell everything!"

'OK, be the ball, be the ball, be the ball'

'I suggest we wait at the pub until this bird realizes that it's hatching your golf ball.'

'Sorry to leave you in the lurch but this trip is important'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

"Can I play with your ball, Mister, if you're not using it?"

'In Grandma's time, men were hunters, while women were cleaners and shoppers. Now daddy and mommy are both hunters, but on wekends, mommy still cleans and shops, while daddy is a golfer.'

'This painting's in very poor taste.' 'Yes. It's from his sour grapes period.'

Jack Nicholas - Sun-Visor

"Just imagine the hold is world peace and the sand traps are nuclear Armageddon and the club is your ability to deal calmly and rationally with complex situations."

"Woulda looked cool with a beer in his hand, though." Michelangelo's cousin, Michelobelo

That looks like a golf ball.

Executioner with golf bag full of axes

Sand Trap.

"RATS! Hooked it."

Cloud Cuckoo Land, Dog fetching golf ball

Golfer watches alien space ship.

"Who says I'm out of touch."