Entertainment Gadabout Pillows

'Satellite TV? You're spoiling that kid.'

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

They hated me.

Showbiz Awards

Benedict Cumberbatch

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"If I might be serious for a moment..."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

A small snooker player chalking his cue.

Clown teaches how to speak Jibberish

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

A Guide to Balloon Animals

The Rooster Comedian.

Television Readers.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

Champagne

"I've seem an awful lot of movies ever since they cut them all down to two minutes."

'That'll be four twenty for the beers and sixty quid for the Xmas decorations.'

"I need a little more drama like a ten part mini-series."

"I like movies that resemble my life, so I don't feel like I'm wasting time watching a movie."

Cow Show Tunes

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

"Bloody hell!"

Cord cutter

Hey. Hey. Polly wants some folly.

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

"Here's something called "The Fifty Greatest Countdown Shows Ever!""