Golf Club Member Gifts

"Well, that may not be the farthest drive I've ever seen...but t sure is the highest!"

"You're way too strong Dad: You've overshot the green by about two hundred metres..."

'I've had some baby sized clubs made.'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

Maybe we should stop calling it 'The Masters.'

"I hope you're good, Charlie. I've only played a couple of times."

Alfred Marquez, Probate Attorney - Heir club for men.

"You'll learn a lot at our book club...like how to read between the wines."

"So is that a slice of a hook? I never know which is which."

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

Men drinking

'Aren't they restricted at this club?'

"Instead of eggs, you're going to look after the lost balls in the water hazards."

'What a huge disappointment. I thought French Club was about kissing!'

The natural selection process in golf.

'It's a deal -- I'll introduce a bill to bail out your country club, and you'll introduce a bill to bail out my country club!'

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

'Boy Scouts aren't ANY kind of terrorists!'

Putting out on the green is called 'The Short Game'.

'I just joined the Freemasons and I'm afraid you're our next sacrifice..'

'I'm like a caddy at your beck and call !'

'Be wormier!'

'Good news dear you have finally been accepted as a member of 'The explorer's club!'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball'

Botanical Gardens - Our Weeding Group Meets Mondays 3pm.

"Welcome, comadres, to this first meeting of the Very Wise Latina League!"

'He's the only one we could get to be master of ceremonies.'

An accident could be on the cards

'Let's get out of here! That looks like a golf ball!' (astronauts on seeing a huge golf ball).

"Yes, you can see the chairman this afternoon - have you ever done any caddying before?"

'I read the Club's constitution and then realized I did fit the entry criteria, so I decided to join...'

'It suprises me you want your files organized.

"I shot 60 and you say that isn't bad, but I aim to do even better on the second hole!"