Golf Club Comic Gifts

'What's this filed under G?'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Well done, Evan; you only missed a hole-in-one by 7 strokes.'

"I can't tell if Ed is taking a long time to line up his shot... Or if he fell asleep again!"

The natural selection process in golf.

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

"One More Swing."

'For some reason they've nailed the mike to the floor.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

'You're the only person I know who takes divots on the green.'

'I knew it! Come back here!'

'Have I told you that sometimes I become furious, that I've got a previous conviction for bodily harm and that I hate to lose?'

A superhero rides an invisible golf cart.

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

'I'm sure it is comfortable. But you really should use a golf cart like the rest of us.'

"Chinese food? I'll call it in if you'll pick it up."

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

If golfers were honest with themselves.

At first he thought he had died and gone to heaven.

'Lunge out of the water and slap his face!? ... Oh, that's real effective, Leonard.'

Golf cart stuck in the sand trap.

"Now take your time. . . birdie or promotion."

Old Age Golf

'Rats! I thought I was in luck when it landed in the water!'

"Sorry, sir, but that's not what 'Pro Shop' means!"