Golf Comic Relief Gifts

'He's an experienced golfer! Experienced in sand traps, water hazards and slicing.'

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

Overjumpers

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

"We are gathered here to morn the passing of Bob Opossum."

The First Printed Bible

"Yes, three of a kind beats two pair."

"It says here on your resume that one of your qualities is a sense of humor. Care to elaborate?"

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

"Saving Lois Lane a dozen times doesn't mean you can claim her as a dependent on your taxes."

"What kind of sinker are you using?!"

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

Break Glass in Case of Stress

Tourist in the desert

"Stick to the specials and no one gets hurt."

'...but you can't keep imagining you're going downhill!'

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

'Let's face it...We have irreconcilable differences!'

"I used to waste a lot of time explaining myself to family, friends and shrinks. Now I only explain myself to Rick."

Of course I've not dusted - You know I favour a matt finish!'

'Why are jogging on the spot?'

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

Gentleman, things are worse than we thought.

'I must be getting good, because my Dad told me to go play for the neighbours!'

'Nothing to worry about, Mr. Jenkins, some people do have a mild reaction to the flu shot!'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Sorry, but I don't think you're right for our company.'

"Having captions above makes me feel like I'm doing grand opera."

We are shaped by what we love! Especially pizza and doughnuts!

'I went online to check out my ancestry and I found that my dad, 10,000 times removed, was an amoeba!'

Birdcage and Man cover their heads at nighttime.

"You're not a failure - a lot of men come in to difficulty with their girlfirends bra clasps."

'I don't want bread crumbs. I'd prefer some money to buy a cheeseburger.'