Goddess Glutes Guru Gifts

"The gods really love tight buns."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Edgar Allen Poe

On the back of the t-shirt...

Muscles

'Every piece of equipment is hooked up to battery cells in the basement, and we actually sell electricity back to the power company!'

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

Men explained.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

The trim reaper

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

'What are you eating now?'

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

Punkins

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Complete Makeover

"How much could your mother bench?"

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights