Goddess Glutes Guru T-Shirts

"The gods really love tight buns."

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'You've hit the fitness plateau.'

Edgar Allen Poe

On the back of the t-shirt...

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Muscles

"You're a strong, virile stallion of a man, Randy. Has anyone ever told you that?"

"All this spinning...shouldn't this be charging our phones or something?"

Exercise Class

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"Forget sugar and spice and everything nice. I'm going for buns of steel!"

Men explained.

The trim reaper

"I exercised so much during my first pregnancy that the baby was born with athlete's foot."

"I lost 20lbs on my diet. I guess it's time for a relapse."

"Would you like me to give it to you straight or sugar-coated?"

'What are you eating now?'

'Can you take the lid off this jar for me...?'

Holiday Aerobics.

"When will you be starting building work on the lower body?"

"I want to have at least two children - I have too much guilt to give for just one."

'I want a brain, but I'd settle for buns of steel!'

Health Nut with a 60-Pack

"Yes, sir, fat free—straight from the gym."

"How much could your mother bench?"

'It says for best work out to dismantle and reassemble.'

'The aerobics will give you a more youthful appearance overall, but you need to see a podiatrist about your crows feet.'

"We're wasting our time. He gets them free at work."

"Holy hell. I should not have based my whole personality around this..."

'You mean that I have to carry them to my car?'

Complete Makeover

A hunchback rings bells in a gym while other guys pull weights

Edgar Allan Poe