Goal Striker Pillows

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Saving a Heart

'I do a lot of icing. It's part of my mellowness.'

Football

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Beer Order

The Goalkeeper

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Football

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

The best goalie in the world!

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

A scarecrow goalie

"What I miss during school holidays is not going out on strike every Friday."

Shy goalie smiles under umbrella in victory downfall of streamers

'Are you blind ref?'

'Verily, we wuz robbed!'

Football Bomb

Wilfried Zaha

'He's the best goalie we've ever had!'

Goal

Football Skills

'Last warning, Girard! Get rid of that mask!'

Psyche Delia

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'Hand in the area, penalty!'

'There's nothing in the rules about gloves.'

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"