Goal Scorer At Heart Pillows

A Man's First Love

Diego Maradona, 1960-2020

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Football

Make your resolutions achievable.

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Goal

Wilfried Zaha

Psyche Delia

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

Dog and frog playing football.

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

'Any idea how united got on?'

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

Sadio Mane

Footballer's Wages

'Why didn't you stop it?' - 'I didn't want to get my new gloves dirty.'

Jesus Saves

Football

Jack Grealish