Goal Scorer At Heart Gifts

A Man's First Love

Diego Maradona, 1960-2020

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Football

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Make your resolutions achievable.

'You both know the rules -- walk 1 paces, turn, and tee off on each other.'

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"They play union in heaven... where do they play football?"

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Goal

Psyche Delia

Wilfried Zaha

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

Harry Kewell

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

Happy-Go-Lucky-Father-Of-Two-Avid-Golfer-Longtime-Magnetic-Tape-Salesman-Kiwanis-Member or Thomas Pynchon?

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

Sergio Kun Aguero

Where are they now? Paul Henderson.

Dog and frog playing football.

'Any idea how united got on?'

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

Footballer's Wages

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'

Sadio Mane

Luis Suarez

Jesus Saves

'Why didn't you stop it?' - 'I didn't want to get my new gloves dirty.'

Jamie Vardy

Goal