Goal Scorer Enthusiast Gifts

Jimmy Greaves.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Football

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Okay, you got this! Who introduced the theory of punctuated equilibrium?"

Punishment for the kicker.

Wilfried Zaha

Psyche Delia

Goal

The Goal Post-Impressionists,

'He's the best goalie we've ever had!'

"Seeing as you've been so generous giving goals away lately, you're down to play Santa at the Christmas party!"

Harry Kewell

"So you used to be in a darts team?"

"I told you my lucky pennies would work."

'Will you lean on the other post for awhile, please?.'

'Some day, people will wonder what these goal posts were.'

"So, what have you been doing lately?"

Sergio Kun Aguero

'If I could pick as many winners as he picks balls out of net - I'd be a rich man.'

T-Rex: the Best Hockey Goalie

Just sitting here kicking field goals (smiley face emoji)

'He still can't manage to get into the box.'

'Any idea how united got on?'

Footballer's Wages

I don't get it. You can make a goal from one end of the field to the other, but you can't hit the laundry basket six inches away.

"Where are you flying to?"

'No wonder they call him the Cat - he gives the defence kittens!'