Goal-scoring Aficionado Gifts

Wayne Rooney

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

"I can't wait to introduce you to all the people I used to be friends with, before I started spending all my time with you."

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Westview High School Soccer League Victory Dinner

'Not much gets past our new goalie!'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Watching the football.

Goalkeeper makes the wrong save.

Men can show their emotions!

"And the way you kids kick ass today will speak volumes about the leaders of tomorrow you will be."

Football

"Okay...let's concentrate on discussing strategy during halftime."

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

Teenage Angst.

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Football player taking the ball home.

A scarecrow goalie

'If you're proposing, Nigel, get it done before full time!'

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

Football heads...

Thibaut Nicolas Marc Courtois

The Birth of Soccer

'What makes you think we want to sell you son.'

'How's the football?' 'Terrific. The coach says I'm one of the school's greatest drawbacks.'