Gluten Free Skeptic Gifts

"I hope this isn't one of those, glutten-free, places."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

I read an article about the health benefits of dark chocolate so I make sure all the donuts I eat are covered with dark chocolate.

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

'Cut down on sodium? I'm taking that with a pinch of salt.'

"What do you have that won't kill me?"

Child Sells Gluten Free Mudpies

"Hide the file in one of your gluten-free cakes – so the guards won't eat it."

'Too much Omega 3.'

Man sees hug capsules: 'Not to be taken Orally.'

"It's natural, vegan organic, no additives, preservatives or cooking."

"Hmm...any dietary restrictions?"

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Is everything all right? Any reactions to the irradiated carrots, the transgenic tomatoes, or the antibiotics in the chicken?"

"Running is great. Unless you compare it with not running."

"Tonight's specials include beef wellington (long regarded as a major source of cholesterol and saturated fat), Cajun-style swordfish (suspected of containing PCBs and toxic metals), and chicken teriyaki (recent increase in the incidence of salmonella whi

'I'd like to be fed intravenously. I've heard about your hospital food!'

Error in low-fat pizza design.

'What kind of quack is he? No pills, no special diets! He just believes in will power!'

Grocery Store - Warning: Contents may be hazardous to your health

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'First of all, I'm taking you off the iron supplements.'

'What a relief to find out that fewer calories don't add up to longevity.'

Lite Beer.

Way Too Genetically Engineered Chicken

"There's our cure for the munchies! Gluten, we love your pizza!!" "You're our hero, gluten."

'Let me introduce my biggest supporter, a real whale of a guy, a huge fan..'

"I wish your temperature told the real truth about you."

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

'How do we know he's gluten-free?'

'Calorie averaging...with the oven-fresh trip-el burger, you get...one French fry.'

"It might taste a little different. It's gluten-free slop."

"How could they possibly know it's gluten-free, low gi. . . ?"

Health Foods; "When did I ever eat back pain and trigger fingers?"