Glass-wearer Gifts

'Your Majesty, the Pretender to the Throne is here.'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

Potichomania (The art of decorating glass), as carried out by Master Tom in the Easter holidays.

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

Love wine

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

"Think of these as the car your face is driving."

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

"To toast!"

"I wanted to make it look like the ones at church."

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

"Wine not?"

'I think the eye doctor got my prescription glasses mixed up with somebody else's.'

"How did I never notice before, Peter! Without your glasses you look just like Spider-Man!"

The day after Father's Day.

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"They're mire aesthetic than practical."

'My eyesight was getting worse, but thanks to my new glasses, I can play 'Monkey see, Monkey do' again...'

'He was a lousy watch dog until we realized he was near sighted.'

"I heard they make glass from sand but I have no idea where to begin."

'No thanks, just squinting.'

Contacts vs. Glasses

'Wow! He must really work out!'

'Not THAT glass, you idiot.'