Glass Repair Hero Pillows

"Gee! It must be great living next to a golf course!"

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

The Fuse

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

"Turn down the bass."

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

'I seem to have a spare tap son.'

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'Come back, I haven't explained how the fan extractor works.'

Bob's DIY Store

An EskimoInuit gluing back a piece of broken Igloo with some special glue for Igloos

Giant sandwich bags.

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

"A little high and inside."