Glass Cleaning Guru Pillows

Glass cleaning beggars wash man's car and glasses.

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

'Heirloom Tiffany Lamp Delivery. I Brake for Everything.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Your house is spotless, your children are well behaved and dinner was delicious. How do you do it?'

Glass and Porcelain Store: Elephants must remain outside.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

Heavy-duty, super-capacity, two speeds, 10 cycles. All of them vicious.

'Just one more and this puppy is headed for another bar.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"Namaste."

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

'The spots are much clearer.'

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Clean your specs, lady?"

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

'Well you're an eye doctor aren't you'

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

'You missed a spot.'

Wine-tasting Tour.