Glasses Gurus Pillows

"Over here."

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

'Got one in English?'

"Rex, Rex, put your glasses on! Don't sniff that bottom, it's not another dog: it's a skunk!"

CLOTHES-HORSES OF THE ART SCENE

Handbag store - "Perfect."

'We live in difficult times. These underwear don't help one bit.'

'She's so put together!'

"Most of these pelts were suicides."

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

A women in a shoeshop.

'Good news - basic black is being shown this season.'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"Absolutely not!"

"I feel like we've walked into some sort of epidemic of hipatitus."

Keeping warm.

"You look great. One problem though: I'm the one who goes to work."

Mr Metrosexual.

"Diamonds are so three billion years ago..."

'This is our bestselling power tie. Just put it on and clap twice.'

'Do you like my little black number?'

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

At the suit makers

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"It's the only way I can justify buying so many shoes."

'Trust me, it's very proper to mix stripes.'

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

His and Her wardrobe's

"Amazing! It's the season of me!"

'She thinks it makes her look enigmatic.'

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

"That shirt is so last year."

"Everybody should live in a market economy. It's terrific."