Glass Repair Guru Pillows

'A little help!!'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

Tommy Cooper at the bottle bank - Glass, Bottle, Bottle, Glass..

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

Problem Solver Wanted

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

Bob's DIY Store

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

"Clean your specs, lady?"

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

'The spots are much clearer.'

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

Checking new spectacles.

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'