Glass Repair Guru Prints

'A little help!!'

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Bottle Bank: For the Colour Blind.

"I just cleaned that glass! How can it already be covered in nose prints?!"

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"Our business is based on breakthroughs."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

The Small Business Advisor: 'The first bit of advice I'd give you for your garage start-up is to tell your dad'

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

'You forgot your glasses again, didn't you?'

'I'm thinking about laser eye surgery.'

Problem Solver Wanted

"Your problem isn't the prescription."

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

'Don't worry...you'll grow into them.'

'Nicely done. You may have double-vision, but it's 20-20, 20-20.'

"It's ok for you! My cartoonist just can't adapt to his new varifocals!!"

'The spots are much clearer.'

Bob's DIY Store

"Clean your specs, lady?"

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'

"Everybody says that without the specs I look like Grover Cleveland and with them I look like Theodore Roosevelt."

"Would you rather be smart or funny?"

Same Day Glasses - "They'll be ready in a month. It's not my fault you couldn't read the fine print."

"I know the schools are great, but is this really the house we want to ride out the apocalypse in?"

Wine-tasting Tour.

"Uh...not to be bossy, but I wouldn't do it that way."

"No, it's not a Rorscach test, it's a really nasty damp patch."

'I-need-bifocal-itis.'

"So that's how you fixed things before there was Duct tape."