Auto Restoration Hero Pillows

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"What old school? This is my life."

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

The Fuse

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

'Come back, I haven't explained how the fan extractor works.'

An EskimoInuit gluing back a piece of broken Igloo with some special glue for Igloos

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

'Just use some extra strength spackle.'

"Let me guess...you got a job here because you needed new parts for your lowrider project?"