Auto Restoration Hero Pillows

'Orville keeps bragging about restoring that car. He fails to tell people it took him 70 years.'

"I hear you bought a new classic car."

"I'd like a new tire for my 1976 Chevy Chevette."

"What old school? This is my life."

"Do you buy cars here?"

"So this is what you want? This is why after school, almost every day, you spend all your extra free time working at the auto store?"

'A 50's vintage automobile...a billiards room. YOu, my firend, have got it all.'

"Dang, there goes another piece of the wife's good china. You see father, it's

'If I was this car I wouldn't let you in the drivers seat!'

Lazy plumber.

Bob’s Museum

'Certainly. Here's the break-down. Seventy-five dollars for my labour. And seventy-five dollars for you impersonating a plumber.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

The Fuse

'When last did you have your oil changed?'

"Do you really know what you're doing, or do you Google-search know?"

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"According to the instructions, if the product is found to be faulty, dispose of it responsibly and purchase another."

Bathroom flooding (man holding tap).

"What makes you think I doubt your abilities?"

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"This says Hispanic life expectancy has risen to 80 years."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

'It's a British car. Needs braces.'

Man who hits finger and screams for help has his mouth bound up instead of his finger by unsympathetic wife.

'Come back, I haven't explained how the fan extractor works.'

"Wow! This car has a continental kit, train horn, smoothed-out firewall, polyurethane bushings and a 2400-CFM fan! I have a long way to go!"

"Remember when I told you rust might become a problem in the future?"

An EskimoInuit gluing back a piece of broken Igloo with some special glue for Igloos

"When was the last time you started her up?"

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'Now that you've got it running again, how do you stop it?'

'Thank goodness you got here in time. Frank was going to start without you.'

Ghosts save on electrical & plumbing maintenance costs because they don't need easy access to the inside of walls.

"I'm sorry Joet...I shouldn't be mad. In fact, congratulations! You saved your money. You deserve the finest ride on the planet."