Gin Critic Gifts

"Gin? Oh God, I hate gin."

You're the botanicals in my gin

A cat pours himself a gin and tonic.

"Got any bathtub gin?"

'Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine... LAST!'

'What was the first music they ever said 'this isn't even music' about?'

Of all the gin joints in the world, you are here.

'I'm very sorry, sir. Even for stressed out bankers, whiskey and gin aren't tax-deductible expenses.'

Henry's music career was ruined when a frog jumped into a glass of gin, and then jumped into his tuba where it is now permanently lodged.

Ginspiration!

'He's making preparations for his elderly care.'

"And these soya beans were engineered using Human DNA."

Internet Commenter Magazine.

'What I wouldn't give to be a lager lout again!'

Positive Thinking

In the Year 2525

The old colonel wished he was in the land of cotton.

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

Gin & Tonic.

"The combover works even less now that you're using your back hair."

Scariest Tactics

"I can write beautiful poems, but they all rhyme with gin."

'You've had enough.'

London Gin Company Limited - By Appointment to Queen Mother

With the exception of the cold coffee and poor selection of donuts, I think the meeting went well.

-"For instance, this gin and tonic does not have a single molecule of gin in it!" -"It's from the staff canteen, right!"

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

Facebookdead

"Of course you have a 'right to your opinion'. That doesn't make it any less stupid."

'Give me something long and cold and half full of gin. How's the wife?'

Employment law employee swears at the announcement of further lockdown measures.

'That's right. I took all your money and didn't teach you a darn thing -- enlightening, isn't it?'

The Art Critic

Aviation cocktail