Denim Critic Gifts

"I'm sick of you, Henry. I'm sick of you, and I'm sick of denim!"

"I think I've found the most comfy jeans."

"After a long day or remote work, it feels great to change into something less comfortable."

'No way Doug! You can not stick it to the man in new season, smart casual menswear!'

Bobbies library of jeans

'Teens are like trees, you can chart their growth by the number of rings.'

'Dang, you were right! It is formal!'

"That shirt is so last year."

Pam learned the importance of browser support.

Downside of a memory foam mattress.

'You must have one arm shorter than the other.'

'I'm glad to see you finally pulled in sales. Nevertheless, you're fired. Here, we're dealing with socks and shoes, not with suits and shirts.'

"How can we order wine with dinner? You're not wearing a necktie."

'Fashion Police Incident Area'

"Do these puffy pants make me look less tyrannical?"

'Do you have any relaxed fit jeans that aren't quite so relaxed?'

"I'm sick and tired of black."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"I'm wearing Donna Karan."

"Would you have anything a bit...'stupider'?"

Cowboy

"Yes... you'll be wearing that bridesmaids dress for eternity!"

"I think your tailor has seriously miscalculated your rise, Herbert."

"December 29, 1991: Janet sacrifices months of self esteem therapy for the perfect New Year's Eve dress." "It's called an 'Everest' gown because it would be a monumental task to squeeze that mountain you call an ass into it."

"Wow, maybe Heidi Klum looks like Gisele Bundchen."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'

How to recognize a German tourist...

"This would be perfect! If it were a different style, in a different color, from a different store."

Jeans Styles

"Sorry, but it's store policy to remove man buns by any means necessary."

'Isn't it enough to have long hair?'

Prices include consultation with fashion therapist.

'I see you've dressed to go clubbing.'

'What's with kids nowadays and tattoos?'

Style Consultant