Gilded Romantics Gifts

"It's nearly as valuable as what we'll inherit when your mother dies - that's how much I love you."

Dancing in pyjamas

Cupid paints Stop sign

I thought I was proposing to Sally, but evidently I was challenging her to a twenty year series of debates.

'How wonderful, playing our song - astronauts, fly me to the moon.'

Date Night

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

Old Book Smell

'Nothing like a Romantic stroll in Saturn's acid rain.'

An Appreciation

Transylvanian Snails.

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

'I don't want anything for myself...But if it's not too much trouble, please send my mother a son-in-law who's a Doctor...'

Antiques

'Mom, Dad, this is Jennifer. We met early one morning and fell in love.'

Kissing on the golf course

Henry, sire, do you think having you're wife's name tattooed on your chest is a good idea?

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

Romance

All those years of marriage and they still get emotional on Valentines Day.

"What should I tell the Andersons- twenty minutes?"

'What are we doing for Valentines Day this year?'

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

"Shall I compare thee to an autumn day?"

'It's Sir Galahad - Take your umbrella and walking boots, the white charger's gone in for a de-coke.'

"Don't make me take a knee, Nancy - I may never get back up."

Octopus

"It's nice to know I've still got it."

"Heavens! I'd better rush home. my phone may be ringing."

'Remember when we used to make love, you used to bite my neck?'

Love at First Fright Dating Service. She's very picky. As usual, I'm having a hard time finding her a date for the Halloween Ball. She went with the Invisible Man once, but she said she could see right through him. She didn't like Cyclops because it was hard to make eye contact. Doctor Jekyll was no good because two's company and three's a crowd. Has she like anybody? Yeak, Frankenstein's monster ... She thought he was very well-built.

'Grandpa, what was the most romantic thing you ever tweeted grandma?'

I'm no longer allergic to flowers!

Tears

"Press these flowers into a scanner and e-mail them to my wife please, Monique"