Old-school Romantics Gifts

'I got your text-message marriage proposal... and I've answered you by snail mail.'

Now that our kids are grown and the house is paid off...

Right click for yes...

Dancing in pyjamas

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Everybody meets online these days."

(First signs) (A half loaf of bread, ... a jug and a half of wine, and thou beside me.)

'-and the ceremony,dearest,your place or mine?'

'He Will!'

"Do you promise to love, laugh and send cute pics of the cats even if you're just in the next room?"

"Why, I think he's trying to impress you."

"Oh, he's so romantic."

Dancing to Mobile Tunes

'Nothing like a Romantic stroll in Saturn's acid rain.'

The wedding party take selfies at a wedding

"I had a lovely evening talking trash with you."

"'CPD'...stuff and nonsense, the old ways are fine for me, now pass me a hammer. I need to put this patient out!"

"Please listen carefully to the available options."

An Appreciation

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

"To meet the girl of your dreams, swipe right on the lamp."

Antiques

"Whatever happened to traditional marriages? There they are...on national television...with millions of people watching...two women getting married! And they're both wearing blue jeans!"

"Are there any available upgrade options?"

'Mom, Dad, this is Jennifer. We met early one morning and fell in love.'

Strategies that will always work

"Love me, Tinder; love me, do. . ."

Nothing sweeter than seeing an old couple holding hams.

Romance

'Now that looks like a guy I could go through a prenup process with.'

Romeo and Juliet 2.0

"The social conservative in me tells me to pay for dinner, but the fiscal conservative thinks we should split it."

All those years of marriage and they still get emotional on Valentines Day.

"He says, 'What hath god wrought...' What should I write back?"

Octopus